Dynamics of a group

Adults change based on whom they encounter, despite our trying to stay 'true' to ourselves. We're different with our parents and with friends, with our spouses and with our children. I'm now starting to see how early this change in behaviors occurs. Any new variable in the group determines its success, starting from when the kids begin to interact, at the age of 3.

I was reviewing notes from a fellow teacher when I was preparing for classes and was wondering why she talked about each new student entering her class. It's a huge adjustment - that's why! One bad apple spoils the bunch they say...Sadly, quite a true statement and a tough one to control. No child behaves similarly in any given group, and it takes most quite a bit of time to adjust to any change.

Siblings act together as a unit, exhibiting roles they have adapted at home, for comfort sake, younger mimicking the older, older ones overprotecting the young. When separated, they're very different individuals. Those constantly acting out in front of parents, to win some independence and control of their lives, have no need to do so in an unknown setting where everyone is on a level ground. Loud kids quiet down and turn their gazes inwards, introvert kids feel they can speak up in a smaller group setting.

So how does one ever begin to stay true to him/herself if we're constantly adjusting? Do we ever know who we are if cards change so many times per day? And what is better for the kids - stability or constant change to develop strong personalities?